Passionate about Forgiveness (Matthew 18)
Billy Milton - April 11, 2004
Matthew 18:21-35 and Matthew 26:26-29 and Luke 23:32-43
By now many of you will have been to see “The Passion of the Christ”. It has generated more opinions and polarised its audience more than any other film I have ever known. Some people hate it and call it evil; some have been deeply moved; some have not understood what it’s all about; some have seen it as anti-Semitic and dangerous. Whatever your view of it, it has to be said that Mel Gibson has created a movie that is stunning in its impact. I saw it over a fortnight ago now but still some of the images flash into my brain and I guess that this will go on happening for a long time.
But there is one scene in the movie that felt very personal to me. It’s the one where Jesus is on the cross just after he had been mocked and beaten up by the Roman soldiers. If any group had a right to complain about their portrayal in the movie it wasn’t the Jews, but the Roman soldiers. They were portrayed as savage, unfeeling, uncouth, stupid, Barbarians who took a sadistic pleasure in their cruel work. They egged each other on to ever more cruelty even when Jesus was almost dead. I found myself disliking them intensely and I could see not a single redeeming feature in them.
However, Jesus was different. In the movie, He looked down from the cross, straight at his immediate tormentors, and cried out, “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing.” For a split second I almost felt angry with Jesus! How could he possibly forgive them? It somehow doesn’t feel right that they should be forgiven. They deserve anger and hatred poured out upon them - but there it stands - “Father forgive them” Jesus was passionate about forgiveness!
That’s one of the central messages of Easter - Jesus died that we might be forgiven. I spoke to a lady a couple of weeks ago who knew absolutely nothing about Christianity. As I outlined to her the very basics of the Christian faith she stopped me at one point and said, “Could you just repeat what you’ve just said about being forgiven?” I did. I told her that one of the great joys about being a Christian is that we don’t have to carry a big load of guilt around with us - Jesus died to carry that load for us and so we are freed from that burden.” She looked at me and with tears in her eyes she said, “Do you mean you don’t walk about feeling guilty all the time? It must be wonderful to feel so light.” I have to confess that I’ve been a Christian for so long that I’ve kind of become used to feeling light and I don’t appreciate as much as I should what a gift from God it is. Do you feel light this morning? Do you know what it is to be forgiven?
Any one of us, regardless of the extent of our sin, can know what it is to be forgiven by God. The dying thief knew and experienced it; Peter who had denied Jesus so emphatically at his trial experienced it; the woman caught in the very act of adultery knew it. Let me assure you this morning - whatever you have done or said or thought, you can experience God’s forgiveness just by asking for it. In a world, which is just weighed down with guilt, isn’t that a great message this Easter?
However, I want to take this theme of forgiveness a bit further this morning. Jesus was passionate about forgiveness … but what about you? Are you holding something against your husband or wife that you won’t let go? Has someone at your work offended you and you can’t forgive him or her? Is there someone sitting in this church this morning that has hurt you and you are struggling to forgive? Is there a problem in your own family? In short, if I gave you a few seconds would someone’s name spring to your mind that you need to forgive … just as Christ forgave those who had sinned against him?
Let me say something to reassure you a bit. Forgiveness is seldom easy, especially when the one who has hurt you is someone you trusted deeply. A husband has an affair; a wife publicly humiliates her spouse; a colleague mocks your suggestion; a child throws your love back in your face; a brother or sister in the Lord gossips about you. Such acts of betrayal are extremely painful and you know you should forgive, and you try, but the pain won’t go away. What do you do?
Jesus is passionate about forgiveness. He is also the great healer and he wants to heal your pain this morning. But part of your healing depends upon your willingness to follow his prescription. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus prayed, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” I know that you’ve heard this before but you’re going to hear it again - unless you are prepared to forgive others who have hurt you then you cannot expect Jesus to forgive you. You cannot harbour hatred in your heart for someone else and expect God to condone such a stance. If you want to experience the lightness of spirit I spoke about earlier, the freedom from guilt that so pervades our society, then God the great healer asks four things of you:
- Forgive completely.
Col. 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Let me ask you some questions:
- Does God forgive you for some things but not for others?
- Does he forgive you only when you earn it and deserve it?
- Does he forgive you a bit at a time?
In the passage read to us from Matthew 18 we saw the king freely forgiving his servant’s enormous debt and then the forgiven servant goes out and throws his fellow-servant into prison for a tiny amount of debt. Think about that story and then just ask God to help you forgive completely. Pray something like, “God you have forgiven me so much and yet I am holding this pennyworth of debt against someone else. Forgive me and help me to extend to them the same grace and mercy you extended to me.” Now I know that this is not easy but if you are able to pray that prayer or something like it you have taken an enormous step towards healing and freedom.
Can you imagine if Jesus had died with angry words on his lips and hateful thoughts on his heart? I can’t. If Jesus could forgive his tormentors so completely; if he could forgive me so completely then surely I must completely forgive those who have hurt me. Now you are probably thinking, “I’ve tried that but the hateful thoughts just keep coming back. The hurt just keeps on resurfacing.” Listen to this story about Corrie Ten-Boom and see if you get any encouragement from it.
In an article in Guideposts, Corrie Ten-Boom told of not being able to forget a wrong that had been done to her. She had forgiven the person, but she kept rehashing the incident and so, couldn’t sleep. Finally Corrie cried out to God for help in putting the problem to rest. She writes:
His help came in the form of a kindly Lutheran pastor to whom I confessed my failure after two sleepless weeks. “Up in that church tower,” he said, nodding out of the window, “is a bell which is rung by pulling on a rope. But you know what? After the Sexton lets go of the rope the bell keeps on swinging. First ‘ding’ then ‘dong’. Slower and slower until there’s a final dong and it stops. I believe the same thing is true of forgiveness. When we forgive, we take our hands off the rope. But if we’ve been tugging at our old grievances for a long time, we mustn’t be surprised if the old angry thoughts keep coming for a while. They’re just the ding-dongs of the old bell slowing down.”
And so it proved to be. There were a few more midnight reverberations, a couple of dings when the subject came up in my conversations. But the force - which was my willingness in the matter - had gone out of them. They came less and less often and at last stopped altogether. And so I discovered another secret of forgiveness: we can trust God not only above our emotions, but also above our thoughts.
- Forgive quickly and repeatedly.
When people hurt us it often leaves wounds. As soon as your wound is bumped, the temptation is to fly off the handle and say, “There you go again! I gave you a chance and you still behave like an ungrateful twit.” Or words to that effect!! We need to fight that temptation and refuse to allow any bitter feelings to take root in your heart. (Heb 12:15) I can remember on one occasion a friend of mine in South Africa developed a problem with his swimming pool. A small bush that had been planted near his pool began to grow and grow until it was no longer a bush but a tree. Its roots began to push out through the wall of his pool and so he asked me to help him uproot it. The tree was probably about 6 feet tall but I can’t tell you how difficult it was to get that tree out, roots and all. It took us hours of blood, sweat and tears until we finally managed to pull it out. Our hands were badly blistered, our muscles were aching and our tempers were frayed. Both of us wished he had taken the decision to uproot it when it was only a small bush - it would have been so much easier.
For your own good, uproot all negative thoughts immediately before the roots get too deep. Like Jesus, be quick to forgive. He forgave his executioners before they even asked! There will be bumps every so often but remember if you take your hand off the bell rope they will only be the last few dings and dongs of your pain.
Refusing to forgive makes you a candidate for emotional cancer. Bitterness and anger infect your emotions, distort your thinking and cripple your relationships. And we have all probably met someone like that. Knowing this, Jesus said in Luke 17:4 in response to a question about how often should you forgive, “If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” Repeated forgiveness is powerful. It keeps you on the path of healing and demonstrates to the one who has hurt you the character of God.
- Forgive supernaturally.
We’ve all been hurt at some time or other. We know what it’s like to have to forgive someone you expect is going to do the same thing again. I know what it’s like to want revenge, to want the other party to suffer just a bit. It’s not natural to forgive someone so easily and so quickly. Guess what? You are absolutely right - it is not natural, it’s supernatural! When you are struggling to forgive, turn to the words of Gal 2:20 where it says that we can only accomplish these things through Christ who is in us. When you want to lash out at someone in anger or pain, ask the one who hung on the cross to forgive them in your place. If the only words you can speak come soaked in rage ask the Living Word to speak for you. Jesus, who lives in us, is able to do what we cannot.
- Take action.
This is where forgiveness moves out of my sermon into your life. This is where forgiveness ceases to be a theological discussion point and becomes reality. Take action! I want you to take just a minute or so right now to think of someone you need to forgive and then determine two things you will do this week to demonstrate your forgiveness … and now go and do them.
You probably won’t feel like doing this but allow God to over-ride your feelings and do it anyway. Easter for me is above all other things a time of hope. Jesus suffered enormously on the cross but three days later an empty grave proved that all he claimed to be was true. That fills me with hope. The hope that I am forgiven. The hope that my life has a purpose. The hope that “Christ in me” will impact the lives of others for the better. Healing occurs not so much by following a four-step-formula but by following a person, the Risen Lord Jesus Christ. He can heal you and enable you in turn to forgive others. Use this opportunity this Easter to bring a lightness to your life and to the lives of others around you.