Serving Together (Session 5)
Billy Milton - April 2, 2006
Phil. 2:1-11
Well, good morning everybody! We’re glad you’re here. I want to welcome you to ‘40 Days of Community.’ Now, you know for the past 4 weeks, we’ve been looking at the fact that God has a purpose for your life. But he never meant you to fulfill that purpose by yourself. The very first thing that God said when he made man was, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” We were made for community. After all, God is in community – Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
And so, we’ve looked at how to love each other, how we reach out together, how we fellowship together, and how we grow together. And today, I want us to look at serving better together. God did not put you on earth to live a self-centered life. He put you on earth to make a difference. He wants you to make a contribution with your life. Look at the first verse on your outline. Let’s read it aloud together, “Agree with each other, loving one another, and working together with one heart and purpose.” Now that’s what we want to talk about today, “Working together with one heart and purpose.” Now you might be tempted to say, “Well, why do I have to serve with anybody else? Why can’t I just serve God on my own? Why can’t I be a Lone Ranger? Well, God says, there are 3 reasons:
First, because WE’RE FAMILY. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians, “We work together as partners who belong to God.” We belong to God and so he says, “You know what? I want you to learn to get along together.” Now obviously in any family there will be conflict at times but it doesn’t change the facts that we are joined together as family.
Second, WE NEED EACH OTHER. He says, “I want you to work with each other because really, nobody’s got it all together.” We all have weaknesses. We all have strengths. The Bible compares the church to a body, the body of Christ. And he says, “You know, we’re all different parts.” Some of you are the hand in the body of Christ. Some of you are the foot or the eye and the ear, some of us get to be the mouth. But the fact is we all are a part and have a part to play.
Notice what it says here, “Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of Christ’s body. But as a chopped off finger or cut-off toe, we wouldn’t amount to much, would we?” Not only would we not amount to much, you’re not going to survive. If I cut my hand off, it’s not going to live on its own. It’s got to be connected. You see what I’m saying?
So we’re family, we need each other and the third reason is because WE GET MORE DONE together. We all know this. This is not news. Teamwork multiplies effort. And the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4, “Two are better off than one because together they can work more effectively.” Last week a bunch of us met up at Mike and Sue’s to discuss the next Alpha starting in May. Before it starts we need to organize publicity, invitations, talks, food, team leaders, venue, etc. etc. Can you just imagine trying to do something like that on your own? It takes a team and because we work together incredible things will happen. If you want to be involved talk to Mike or Sue. It starts on the 4th of May and we need your help.
Now it’s interesting, in the Bible, God often uses the metaphor of gardening to illustrate teamwork. In fact, look at the next verse. “The one who plants and the one who waters work as a team with the same purpose.” Circle that word team. He says, I want you to work as a team, with the same purpose.”
But, teams don’t just happen. Teams must be built; it takes effort. So what does it take to build a team? Well, that’s what we’re going to look at today. If you’ve got a bunch of people and you want to turn them into a team, you do 4 things. And we’re going to look at those 4 things; and to help us remember them we are using the acrostic ‘TEAM’ and we’ll get right into it after this song.
Okay what does it take to build a team? I’m talking about a team of friends, team spirit in your family, team spirit at work, team spirit in your small group. Well, first it takes TRUST. Trust is the emotional glue that binds people together. You don’t have a team unless you’ve got trust. If you doubt me then talk to someone whose partner’s had an affair and ask them what the breaking of trust did to their marriage team. When you read the Bible one thing you’ll notice is that the first thing Jesus did when he began his public ministry was to build a team. He hand picked 12 disciples. Jesus was not a Lone Ranger even if he did need time on his own occasionally.
The Apostle Paul also used to travel with a small team of people and one of the members of his team was a young man named Timothy. Paul once wrote to him, “Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to your care.” Circle that word ‘entrusted.’ Teamwork starts with trust. You can’t do it all yourself. You have to spread the responsibility around. That’s how you build a team. Now the Bible says this about trust in Proverbs 20, “Many people claim to be loyal, but it’s hard to find a trustworthy person.” That’s interesting. That was written thousands of years ago, and it’s still a human dilemma today. It’s tough to find people that you can trust. Now I’m not here this morning to talk about how you can find other people you trust. My question is how can you be trustworthy? Well, if you want people to learn to trust you, you must do three things.
First, you will learn to be trusted by BEING CONSISTENT. That’s the first way, by being consistent. People don’t like people who are always moody and unpredictable. They want people who are consistent, who are dependable, who you can count on to respond in certain ways. And the more consistent you are, the more people are going to trust you.
The Bible says this in Luke 16:10, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.” You know, some of us want to do the big challenges in life, but what I want to know is, are you consistent in the little things? It’s in the little things in life, not the big things, that you prove your character; the stuff that nobody else is ever going to see. You say, “Well nobody cares about that.” Well God cares about it. He sees it, and God is evaluating your character. Character is built by being consistent in the little things of life that few people ever see.
The second way you get people to trust you is by BEING CONFIDENTIAL, by being able to keep a secret. When people confide in you, they want you to be able to keep it. The Bible says this in Proverbs 11:13, “A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Now what is gossip? Gossip is when you share information, and you’re neither part of the problem nor part of the solution. That’s gossip. Whenever you pass on information and you’re not part of the problem or you’re not part of the solution, you don’t really need to be talking about it. In fact, God says it’s wrong; don’t do it. Let me just remind you the people who talk to you about other people are going to talk about you to other people. Count on it. If they gossip to you, I’m guaranteeing this, they will gossip about you. And the Bible says just avoid gossips. It’s like receiving stolen goods. And that’s a criminal offence last time I looked.
We gain trust by being consistent, by being confidential and #3: By BEING CLOSE. Proverb 17:17, “Friends love through all kinds of weather and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.” ‘Stick together’ implies proximity. It says you’ve got to be close. We don’t trust people we don’t know. So the only way to gain trust in people and have people gain trust in you is you’ve got to get close to them. Distance creates mistrust. And so, you have to spend time together. Notice it says, “Through all kinds of weather” and “In all kinds of trouble.” Would you write this down? ‘Trust takes time.’ It can take months or even years to build trust, depending on how much pain there is to overcome. It takes time and if you want to be close to someone, you need to be prepared to be vulnerable over time.
Now the second key to building a team is EMPATHY. It takes not only trust but it takes empathy to build a team and 1 Peter 3:8 says this, “Live in harmony with one another. Be sympathetic.” Now you can’t have the first part until you’ve got the second. You’re never going to have harmony until you’ve got sympathy. Sympathy creates harmony. Empathy and sympathy mean virtually the same thing.
So, if you’re going to build a team anywhere, how do you become a more empathetic person? Well the Bible tells us 3 ways:
#1. Here’s the first way to build empathy: SLOW DOWN. Speed destroys empathy because you miss the details in life when you’re going fast. For instance, when I go out running I notice so much more than when I drive in my car. In my car a lot of stuff just flashes past me and I miss it but when I run on foot I notice the hedges and the birds and the rubbish on the verge and so on. Here’s the point: The faster I move, the more details I miss. And many of you, all of us actually, are in a culture where it is moving so fast. Did you ever skim stones on a lake when you were young? Do you remember them skipping across the surface before finally subsiding under the water? Many of us live our lives like these stones. We are relationally skimming. That is you are only seeing the big things. You are not seeing the details in the lives of the people you care about most: Your friends, your kids, your spouse or whoever. You see, you’re going so fast, you can’t see it. You have to slow down, and stop relationally skimming.
Let’s read what the Bible says in James 1, read it with me, “Be quick to listen and slow to speak.” I knew a guy who was always rushing around and rarely took the time to stop to chat. I think he thought that looking busy made him more important. Well he would try and hold a conversation with you whilst walking away from you down the corridor. And the message he gave me was, “You are not important enough for me to stop and talk.” I remember one day as he was doing his usual walky-talky act I just yelled at him, “Hoy, stop right there and talk to me. You never have a static conversation with me and I’m fed up being insulted like this!” He nearly fell over backwards with shock but he realized that he was doing the same with everyone and consequently no-one ever shared with him at any level. He had to learn to slow down.
When you’re speeding fast, you miss the details and you’re going to miss the signals. You’re going to pass people and say, “How are you doing?” They say, “Fine.” Well that’s the expected thing. But what you didn’t stop to realize that they said, “I’m fine” but everything in their body language said, “I’m not fine.” But you missed it because you were going too fast.
Here’s the second thing that’ll make you more empathetic: ASK QUESTIONS. Don’t just slow down, ask questions. If you want to be more empathetic, ask questions. Someone once said to me, you should always leave a conversation knowing something new about that person. That’s a rule that I try to live by and I’ll often say to myself after talking to someone, “What did I learn about them today?” if the answer is ’nothing’ then I wasn’t listening properly or I was talking too much, which is a definite possibility I have to confess!.
Proverbs 20:5 says this, “A person’s thoughts are like water in a deep well, but someone with insight can draw them out.” Now why do you have to draw it out of people? Well it’s because most people don’t blurt out their emotions. So how do you draw it out? It says a wise person draws it out. Here’s the way you do it: Ask the question twice. That’s how you draw it out. Ask the question twice. “How are you doing?” “I’m fine.” “No really, how are you doing?” and wait. Often you’ll then get the truth. Or else maybe say to someone, “Tell me what’s going on in your life.” “Well, things are busy.” “Tell me more.” Say that, “Tell me more.” It’s the second question that shows the empathy, not the first. “Tell me more.” That is the empathy question, not the first one. So you ask, you pause and you ask again. Slow down.
Slow down, ask questions and the 3rd thing is SHOW EMOTIONS. The Bible says show emotions if you want to be an empathetic person. Romans 12:5, this is what Paul said, let’s read it together, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” What is he saying here? He’s saying you’ve got to be willing to cry with people. When was the last time you wept with someone who was weeping? Or do you just sit there in stone silence thinking, “Boy they’re a bit emotional”? No, no, cry with them. That’s empathy.
You see, empathy is more than saying, “I’m sorry you hurt.” Empathy is saying I hurt with you. That’s empathy. How do you stay empathetic in a world that’s full of pain? There is only one way. You’ve got to stay full of God. You’ve got to stay filled up with God in your life; otherwise you’re going to get passion fatigue and you’re going to run out of empathy.
Here’s the 3rd key. You want to build a team? It takes ACCOMODATION. Why? Because we’re all different. Have you noticed that God likes variety? He does. And so, God has made us all different and we have to accommodate each others’ differences.
Now what does accommodation mean? Well you know, when you see in the newspaper, “Accommodation wanted”? That’s someone looking for a room or for their known space. Similarly, in an emotional sense, when you give someone accommodation, you are giving them space. You are giving them room to grow. Now, I don’t need to talk to you about this one too much because this church is a first class example in the world of accommodation. Things have changed here quite a lot over the past 10 years or so and, mostly, that’s been accomplished without too much complaining. And here’s where I need to ask the new folks to listen up. Don’t get too comfortable with what we are doing right now because we will change, we will accommodate new ideas and we will accommodate new people who are yet to come.
Some of the longer serving people in this church have seen enormous change over the years. Imagine what they’ve put up with, all of the accommodations? In fact, if you’ve been in this church more than 10 years please stand up. Will all the rest of you give these folks a round of applause? Why have they kept putting up with all of those changes over the years? Why do they accommodate? Well I guess they must care about other people more than their own comfort.
Notice what the Bible says, 2 Timothy 2:22, “Be faithful, loving and easy to get along with.” Now there’s a verse for your refrigerator this week. I saw so many elbows just then! That is so funny. I wish you could see what I see up here because it’s like this. [Elbows jabbing]. Some of you are going to go home with sore ribs. “Be faithful, loving and easy to get along with.” Now my question for you is not: Are you easy to get along with? My question is: Would the people closest to you say you’re easy to get along with? There’s a not-so-subtle difference. We need good friends or partners who will tell us that we are difficult and when we are being too cranky. Maybe in our groups next week we could…. Maybe not!
You see in your outline 4 specific ways that you and I can accommodate one another. First of all, we can accommodate EACH OTHER’S NEEDS. Romans 15:2 says, “Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, ‘How can I help?’” Now, if we’re honest, we have a hard enough time looking after our own needs never mind the needs of everyone else! But that’s the beauty of a team – synergy. The output of the team is greater than the sum of its parts.
It really is an incredible thing: While I can bearly meet all my own needs, us… we together… we can meet one another’s needs. That’s the way God’s designed it. He’s made it so that we can meet needs together that we could never meet on our own. There are many, many needs in our lives that have to be ‘team tackled’. That’s what your small group is for. There’s a question at the end of that verse; it’s a great question to make a difference in somebody’s life, “How can I help?” You might just make it a project this week to ask that question more often than you usually do.
We also, #2, accommodate EACH OTHER’S IDEAS because we have different ideas. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:15, “The intelligent man is always open to new ideas. In fact, he looks for them.” Openness to new ideas – what an asset for someone to have. Richard Branson has built his whole fortune by being open to new ideas and then backing it with cash. The person who laughs at news ideas, or worse, scorns new ideas is actually betraying a lack of intelligence according to the Bible. A different idea might open you up to some refreshing new way of living your life. That’s called accommodating other people’s ideas.
And then there’s a 3rd thing we need to accommodate, and that’s EACH OTHER’S PERSONALITIES. Needs, ideas and personalities. The Bible says in Romans 12:6, “God in his kindness, gave each of us different gifts.” We have different gifts. We have different abilities. We have different personalities. And that’s good. I’m very comfortable with my personality but it was an interesting discovery that not everyone is. Some people don’t like me! Yeah, incredible I know but its true. And I also struggle with some other people’s personalities. But I must resist the temptation to think that because our personalities are different that I am superior…or inferior.
Now why has God made us different? Here’s why: God wants to work through our differences to make an impact in this world that we could never make on our own. I can’t change this world on my own but neither can you. God didn’t design it that way. But working together, through our differences, our gifts and personality, God can use us to change this world. That’s why he made us different.
There’s a 4th thing we have to accommodate is EACH OTHER’S FAULTS. We have to accommodate the fact that none of us are perfect. We all have faults. Ephesians 4:2 says, well let’s read this together, “Be patient with each other. Making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” What do you do when you discover someone’s faults? Well, because you love them, you can just accept it. Make allowances that they are imperfect and just get on with it.
Here’s the incredible thing about accommodation. It sounds like a word that would somehow make us weaker, but it doesn’t. It makes us stronger because now it’s not just me, it’s us. Now it’s us working together as a team.
The 4th thing that makes a team is MISSION. Teams aren’t created just to exist for themselves. They have to have a purpose. They have to have a mission. The Bible says in Philippians 2:2, “Be of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.” During ‘40 Days of Community,’ we’re looking and studying about how do we fulfill God’s purposes for our lives together? Notice also that it says, ‘maintaining.’ And not just doing. Circle that word ‘maintaining.’ Here’s the question I have for you: How are you going to maintain God’s purposes in your life after ‘40 Days of Community?’ How are you going to maintain it? Well, there’s only one way. It’s the next verse.
The Bible says this, “Let us not give up the habit of meeting together but let us encourage one another.” We need each other to keep on keeping on doing what God wants us to do.” I wonder if you’ve ever seen the giant Redwood trees? They can grow up to 500 feet tall; they are enormous. They are the largest living things on the planet. Most people know that. What most people don’t know about Redwoods is they have incredibly shallow roots; very, very shallow roots. And they would fall over in a storm or a wind very, very easily. So how do they stay standing strong? Redwoods always grow in groves, and they intertwine their roots, and they hold each other up in the storm. You never get lone Redwoods.
They have to hold each other up, and that is the perfect picture of community. That is a perfect picture of fellowship, or teamwork. We are a network. Now you’re going to have storms in your life - all kinds of problems in your life that will knock you over if you’re on your own. You need a group. You need a group of people who are walking together with you through life.
Notice this last verse. “Live in a way that brings honor to the good news of Christ. Standing strong,” there’s that phrase, “Standing strong with one purpose, working together,” that’s serving together, “as one for the faith of the Good News.” By sticking together as a team and supporting each other we can all stand strong.
You know when I look around at the world, and I see all of the problems in this world like poverty, like disease, like AIDS and so on. You know, these things are overwhelming. It’d be very easy to get discouraged; very, very easy to get discouraged. You look and you say, “The problems are too big.” And when we look at those kinds of things, we’re tempted to ask God, “God, why don’t you do something about this?” And God says, “I’m asking you the same question. Why don’t you do something about this? You’re the one on earth. Why don’t you do something about this?”
You know, there’s an incredible story in the book of Genesis. Thousands of years ago, there was a group of people who decided to build a tower, and they got together as a team. And they were committed as a team, and they had this compelling purpose to build this tower and they had clear communication. And they began to build it. The only problem was they began to worship the building itself, and God said, “Eh. Wrong idea.” And God wanted to kill the project because it became an idol to them. They were going, “Look what we’re doing.” And so, the only way God could stop them was to confuse their communication, and they got all different kinds of languages. It’s called the “Tower of Babel.” And in that story, God says this about the power of team, look up here on the overhead screens, God said, “If as one people,” that’s a team, “speaking the same language, they have begun to do this. Then nothing they plan will be impossible for them.”
Now think about this. This is God talking. God says, “When we have a committed team, when we have a compelling purpose, when we have clear communication, nothing will be impossible.”
Let’s bow our heads. God says we’ll be unstoppable. And I believe with all my heart that as we continue building our small group teams within our church family where people find trust, and they find empathy, and they find their gifts valued and accommodated, and where they have a common clear mission that with God’s help, nothing will be impossible.
I invite you to pray this prayer with me in your heart.
Dear God, I might not know you very well. But I want to know you, and I want you to use my life, and I want you to use it not by itself but with other people in community, in a team. Dear Jesus Christ, as much as I know how, help me to understand it more. I open up my life to you, and I want you to use me. In your name, I pray. Amen.